My fiance and I have wildly different sleeping preferences - he likes firm and memory foam, while I like soft and pillowtop. We got a Sleep Number bed because you can set each side of the bed to what you want, but neither of us like it. When I lower the sleep number setting to make the bed “softer”, it just deflates and provides no support.

I was considering getting a King bed frame and putting two Twin XL mattresses in it. Even going that route though it’s difficult to find a plush pillowtop and a firm memory foam that are the same height. Has anyone gone the 2 twin XL route? Any complaints about feeling a seam down the middle? Do we have other options?

It looks like the Beautyrest Black series have some Twin XL mattresses that would work, but then all old the bed would be $4-5,000 which is far more than we’d like to spend. We were thinking under $2000. Is the Beautyrest Black worth the price?

Thank you!

After 8 years, our mattress has officially given up on life. The middle sags so badly that my wife and I roll into each other all night - which sounds romantic until you're both sleep deprived zombies arguing.

She's a side sleeper who runs hot and needs something soft for her shoulders. I'm a back sleeper who wants more support and doesn't move much. We've been to THREE different mattress stores and it's been a nightmare. Every salesperson tries to push us toward their $3000+ ""couples solution"" with ""zoned cooling technology.” WTF does that even MEAN?

We tried one of those bed-in-a-box memory foam mattresses a few years ago at my sister's place and I hated it. My wife loved it though. 🙄

Is there actually a legitimate good mattress for couples with different preferences? Or are we doomed to either compromise forever or get separate beds like a 1950s sitcom couple? Our budget is around $800-1000 for a queen.

Also - anyone have experience with hybrid mattresses? They seem like they might be a good middle ground, but I don't trust mattress review sites since they're all clearly paid advertisements.

Update: went with the Boring Hybrid. Thanks for all the advice! The medium-firm support should work for my back sleeping while giving enough cushion for my wife's side sleeping. Caught it on sale for $899, so right in our budget. We've had it a week now and we’re both sleeping much better now!

I'm small at 130lbs, he's tall and wide at 280lbs. He has sleep breathing and snoring problems as well due to obesity and bad allergies.

Our current mattress is a queen and firm, and I hate it. It's way too firm for me, and his body's width takes up over half. We're going to get a king, but can't agree on the firmness of the mattress.

I want something pretty soft, but if we get something soft, will his body degrade it quickly? Will he find it too uncomfortable over time? Will it make his breathing and snoring worse?

I keep seeing mixed opinions about how couples deal with different firmness needs and it honestly feels like a bigger issue than people admit. Some say split setups are the only way to stay sane while others swear a single hybrid can balance both sides well enough.

In my case me and my partner are complete opposites. I like a firmer feel because soft beds wreck my back while they prefer something way softer. Our current mattress is a sad compromise and neither of us sleeps great on it anymore. I’m trying to figure out whether we should look into split options or if there are mattresses out there that actually manage to keep both sides comfy without feeling like two different beds stuck together.

Anyone been in the same boat and found a setup that works long term? Any thoughts or things we should look out for before buying would help a ton.

I’m at a loss for good options. I’m 6’2”, 165 lbs, and a side/stomach sleeper with back pain and need a firm mattress. My wife is about 5’5”, 125 and also has back pain, but likes a very soft mattress and is a rotisserie all night long. We both sleep hot.

Ideally we would have a queen-sized mattress, but I can’t imagine how that would work. Sleep Number is absolutely out of the picture. We could do two twins, but it sounds like a pain in the ass. I’m more willing to conform to her than she is to me.

Also, we’re on a Tuft and Needle Nod Hybrid, which neither of us find comfortable. I figured a hybrid was the sweet spot. Would we be able to soften it up with a topper? Or am I returning this baby?

Thanks in advance!

Edit: added details, cleaned up English

I’m a stomach sleeper, 5’6 and 210lbs. He’s a back and side sleeper, 6’3 and 250lbs. Queen or King, either is fine, since we cuddle in our sleep. Budget doesn’t matter right now, this’ll be something we save for together over time. I have no idea what mattresses we currently own, just that mine is a Full and his is a Queen. I do have lower back and hip pain, if that affects anything.

I’ve never shopped for mattresses and neither has my partner. Mine was gifted by my parents 7 years ago, he’s had his for 5 and got it lightly used from his dad. We’d stick with his current mattress if it wasn’t stuck at an elevated position (adjustable base that broke some time ago, it’s wildly uncomfortable as a stomach sleeper).

Bonus points if we can avoid having a box spring. I hate them lmao, especially as a cat owner.

Thank you!!! :)

Please help me from myself - I keep going down too many rabbit holes.

Me and my partner are looking to upgrade our queen to a king mostly because the addition of a dog has made bed more cramped.

I’m 5’3 160 lbs, he’s 6’3 185 lbs. Dog is 50 lbs. We are both side sleepers.

I prefer a softer bed, he prefers firm. Currently we have a Costco select Casper, I can’t remember which one but I think it is medium firm. Neither of us are happy with it - too firm for me and too soft for him. I do get lower back pain and hip soreness from this bed and roll around a lot.

So, based on this I feel like we have three options:

1. Sleep number bed or similar air mattress. We did check out a SN in person and we both liked the ILE. However, it’s bonkers expensive and i have read too many horror stories. I know there are companies with better support, but i would be worried about buying something without trying it - not to mention worries about future mechanical issues. Not completely against it but definitely nervous.

2. A split firmness mattress. This seems like a good option but also worried about not being able to try before buying, so would need to have a showroom or a great process for selecting/returning. I’m also a bit lost on types (latex? Memory foam? Hybrid?)

3. Buying two twin XLs and putting them together. Seems like a potentially more affordable version of 2.

Other considerations: I’d like to avoid fiberglass. The one thing I am sleeping on pretty well right now is our Lovesac couch, which has foam and i can also align my hips with the dips. Partner does not enjoy sleeping on it (too soft). Not interested in an adjustable bed.

Ideal budget is around $2k but willing to move around on price.

Any thoughts or help would be insanely appreciated. I feel like i’m going nuts looking at all the options.

My wife and I are looking to replace our 10 year old mattress. My wife has been complaining about hip/back pain and she attributes it to the mattress because she says she gets better when we travel and sleep on a different bed.

We currently have a Beautyrest NxG 300 Plush Pillow top that I still like a ton. I bought it a few years before we got married and it was the one I liked best at the store back then. We have a legget and Platt base but we rarely adjust it since we rarely agree on a non standard position.

We are both tiny (I'm 5'4 she is 5'1, I'm about 130lbs and she is a bit under that). We are both side sleepers (and I have frequent bouts with heartburn so side sleeping became a necessity). We are on our early 40s.

I like soft beds, hence the pillow top we have now, but my wife actually prefers firmer beds. I often prefer to sleep cooler than my wife. We want to replace our aging Queen mattress for a King and we are considering a split king.

We went today to sleep numbers and were pleased with the i10 climate360 in store demo. The price is pretty ridiculous for a bed, but we are considering it because our very different preferences.

Reddit to the rescue! It came to my attention the diverse complains (and praise ) for this bed. I am wondering if there is anything else we should consider. Perhaps two different twin mattresses on a split king adjustable base? Or different mattress toppers on each side?

We can afford the sleep numbers bed, but I don't like to feel I am grossly overpaying for stuff and if there is a better option to consider I would like to take a look. Dear reddit experts, please share some of your wisdom.

We care for:

• Soft on one side firm on the other.

• Appropriate for short /light , side sleepers.

• Adjusting the elevation on each side is a big plus.

• Avoiding back and hip pain for my wife is a top priority.

• Being able to try the bed in store is highly desirable

• We are fine with expensive if it meets our needs

My husband would sleep on solid concrete and say it was the best sleep ever. I, on the other hand, prefer to have a lot more support but also for it to be comfortable and feel like my bed’s cradling me whole supporting me.

We’re looking for a new mattress as we currently sleep apart but would like to sleep together. The only adjustable firmness beds for two people we know of is the sleep number beds.

We also would like to be able to use the adjustable base if possible, as we both read before bed, tend to unwind in bed by watching movies after putting our son to bed.

Any suggestions?

My husband (6’ 3” 275 lbs) and I (5’ 1” 130 lbs) have been through 3 different mattresses in the past 8 years. We are both side sleepers. I think we should explore a sleep number so we can both be happy with firmness and support for our body types but they have awful reviews. We currently have a Casper hybrid, that is less than 2 years old that is not holding its shape. Looking for a mattress that will last longer than 4 years and fit both of your sizes.

Hi, I'm shopping for a new mattress to replace my 8 year old 12" Signature Sleep Memoir in King size and "Medium" firmness that I bought from Amazon.

Here's the current situation - I'm about 180lb mostly side sleeper, sometimes stomach, my partner is I think mostly a back sleeper, but the weird thing is, she says the mattress is too firm and prefers something softer. She says when she housesits at her mom's who has a soft mattress, she loves it, while I like the firmness of the one we have.

This seems opposite to me - I'd think a back sleeper would need firm and a side sleeper would want soft?

So I'm considering something softer, since she wants that and maybe I actually would like it too, or just get a split king. I would really like to buy from Amazon since I can get a decent amount of gift cards for there, but I do also have the ability to get them from some other stores like Crate&Barrel, CB2 (they appear to carry Helix) or Pottery Barn.

I also recently discovered latex foam pillows which I love, so latex might be an option too, but I'm open to hybrids or all memory foam.

Would you go with a Helix Luxe Sunset in King? Or maybe get 2 identical twin XLs of something and swap either side out if the fit isn't right? (I assume I can keep my king frame with slats base and just stick two twin XLs on it?)

Thanks

Hi all,

My husband and I can't agree on mattress firmness. I'm 130 lbs and love a soft feel, while he's 192 lbs and prefers something firmer. We're considering a split queen hybrid mattress for our room. Any suggestions for a mattress or brand that could cater to both our preferences?

Thank you!

My partner is 180 almost 200 and I’m around 110 so I tend to sink or roll a lot when my partner moves. So I was looking for a bed that would work for us both. Right now we have a queen and was really thinking of moving to a king when we buy and thought that might help my motion problem. Was looking at the nectar beds those or supposed to be good. Any suggestions. We’re both side sleepers. I prefer soft she prefers firm. I just want good sleep

We just got a house and are hoping to upgrade from a queen to a king, which is why we are searching right now the first place. We are both in our late 20s. I'm a female, around 125lb. My boyfriend is 6', around 215lb. I start out cold in bed, and get hot overnight, whereas he starts out warm and gets cold overnight... (in the winter anyway, we both are too hot in the summer if the AC isn't doing great). I prefer a medium-soft mattress where he's more on the medium-firm side. We both toss and turn in our sleep (me, moreso) and our 45lb dog likes to hop in bed with us in the middle of the night sometimes. I'm a side sleeper but occasionally lay partially more on my stomach, my boyfriend is a side sleeper who often ends up on his back.

Our current mattress is a NovaForm 14" Seafina Pearl Gel Queen Memory Foam. I think it's the medium version, but not totally sure. The firmness on it is decent, but it does sleep warm. I think we'd also prefer to get a hybrid mattress this time around, but the NovaForm isn't bad.

I've looked at Saatva, Leesa, and Wink primarily so far, but am:

a) torn about a "mattress in a box"

b) keep reading mix reviews that are making me indecisive

c) not sure I want to spend around $1500; would rather stay around $1,000 to $1,200 max.

I've seen split mattresses around as well, and I've never tried one, but they seem like they would feel weird if you ever are laying in the middle.

Any initial thoughts/advice? TY!

So I'm a restless but heavy sleeper. I toss and roll over all night long which doesn't bother me at all, but the problem is my partner is a very light sleeper and every time I move I wake her up. It's a problem. What kind of mattress will isolate movements from her side of the bed so I don't wake her up so often? I haven't bought a mattress in like 10 years.

I feel like my partner and I are slowly losing our minds over our mattress situation. We both toss and turn a lot at night and whatever we’re sleeping on right now makes every tiny movement super obvious. If one of us rolls over it feels like the whole bed waves like a trampoline.

We’ve tried a couple mattress stores and the salespeople always act like their stuff will magically fix everything, but half the time the beds feel great for five minutes and then my back starts yelling at me. I keep hearing people talk about memory foam being good for motion isolation, but I’m worried it might sleep way too warm. Hybrids sound promising too but there’s a million versions out there and I can’t tell which ones are actually good and which ones are just hype.

If anyone here has dealt with a partner who moves a ton in their sleep, what actually worked for you? Did you go full foam, hybrid, or something else totally different? Any brands worth checking out before I waste more weekends mattress hopping?