Kinda surprised more people haven’t done this, NGL. But yeah, I’m ranking all 14 of Disney’s computer animated movies. Nothing Pixar is here, I already made a tier list for them. I’ll have to update it after I’ve seen Turning Red and Lightyear later this year, though. But for now, let’s jump right into Disney’s computer catalog.

14. Dinosaur 1/10

The Good Dinosaur, my least favorite Pixar movie, was more interesting and easier on the eyes than this movie. Given the choice between the two of them, I would take The Good Dinosaur in a heartbeat. This is one of those Disney movies that made no impact whatsoever: It has no fans or cult following, no interesting or memorable characters, no good-looking animation that still holds up, nothing. What kinda sucks is the fact that as much as I hate this movie, there’s really nothing to talk about as to why that’s the case. It’s just nothing. A boring-ass cinematic void with no charm or personality that will forever be forgotten.

13. Chicken Little 2/10

Schaffrillas and I share some childhood shame because I too liked this movie as a kid, but now that I’m an adult I realize just how much is wrong with it. In addition to being exactly what the people who hate Shrek say Shrek is; a smug and obnoxious fairy-tale parody; the animation does not hold up, (this is probably the ugliest looking Disney movie ever right after or right behind Dinosaur) the tone is surprisingly mean and unpleasant, the story is chaotic, and the characters all suck. The protagonists aren’t particularly fun to watch, a ton of the town residents are huge assholes, and obviously Buck Cluck is an atrocious father that deserves to go to prison. This is just such an easy movie to dislike, but even ignoring my nostalgia for it, it’s not an entirely worthless experience. The soundtrack is kinda good, some of the humor works, and Kirby is adorable. Why did he have to be stuck in such a bad movie? I genuinely really want to see this get a full-on cinematic disaster video by Schaff one day, because the amount of people out there who think it’s one of Disney’s better movies or even just good is genuinely disturbing.

12. Ralph Breaks the Internet 3/10

After Chicken Little, Ralph Breaks the Internet is probably the most hateable Disney movie out there. The fact that it has the balls to call itself a canon sequel to the gem that’s the original film is just… Oh man, you all know exactly why the general respect for this movie has deteriorated so much over the years to the point where no one defends it now, but I’ll say it anyway: Ralph and Vanelope are assassinated into becoming terrible friends and terrible characters that aren’t fun to watch and are really hard to root for, and most of this movie is just blatant advertisements for junk on the internet, badly dated trends, and a million other Disney IPs. It has some good stuff; there are a few kinda fun scenes, Spamley’s a decent new character, there's a genuinely good message buried beneath the horrendous execution with no subtlety whatsoever, and that’s it. I’m genuinely appalled that this movie did so well critically, like what the actual F?

11. Raya and the Last Dragon 5/10

I can’t remember the last time a Disney movie had all the right ingredients to become a new classic and fell short. This movie has a pretty good cast, a unique and enticing world, excellent animation, Tuk Tuk, well made action scenes and some genuinely really cool ideas…

So how come no one’s talking about it nearly a year later?

Maybe it’s because the adventure is pretty standard and unspectacular. Maybe it’s because the characters aren’t given nearly enough time to develop and become as memorable as some of Disney’s other icons. Maybe it’s because Awkwafina as Sisu is a major tone-killer that’s worse than the side characters in the How to Train Your Dragon movies ever were. Maybe it’s because it’s message about trust, while good on paper, is not delivered in a subtle or justifiable way. I'm gonna go with all of those things. Raya and the Last Dragon has plenty to like, but when it’s executed in a way that just casually breezes through every location one at a time, is filled with cringe-worthy modern talk that feels out of place within the ancient Southeast Asia aesthetic, and fails to establish why Raya’s rival should have any sympathy or deserve any redemption or second chances, it just feels kinda average, which is honestly disappointing. It’s not horrible, but I don’t really see myself ever watching this again.

10. Bolt 6/10

I remember the only reason that I saw Bolt was because the movie theater was sold out of tickets for Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. I was a little salty about that, but I saw Bolt and really liked it. So yeah, I have some nostalgia for Bolt, but these days I think it’s perfectly fine. It’s not awful, and I’ll revisit it much sooner than the bottom four movies on this list, but it’s nothing special at all either. It’s pretty charming and it’s a fun little adventure with perfectly serviceable if not particularly memorable characters, but it’s absolutely ludicrous that the show goes through that much effort to make Bolt think he’s an actual super-dog, and his version of Buzz Lightyear’s character arc from the first Toy Story isn’t particularly compelling or subtle. John Powell’s score is good, if sometimes a bit over-the-top, and the animation looks okay. It’s much better looking than Chicken Little and is a step up from Meet the Robinsons, but when compared to the animation of WALL-E or Kung Fu Panda, which both came out the same year and ended up being its opponents for Best Animated Feature, it’s just ok. I dunno, this movie isn’t bad, but it feels like it isn’t really saying anything and has somewhat understandably grown overshadowed by the other more-impressive CGI Disney movies later down the line.

9. Frozen II 7/10

Okay, let’s get one minor detail straight: I’m a Frozen apologist. I don’t think the movies are masterpieces and I’m not about to call them some of Disney’s absolute best, but I do think they’re good and definitely overhated just because the first one became an accidental phenomenon a lot of people loved talking about. Anyway, let’s talk about Frozen II, which might be one of the most divisive Disney movies of all time. Yes, the new characters look potentially fun and interesting but are thoroughly wasted. Yes, Olaf talks a little too much. Yes, Anna’s protect-Elsa-and-stay-with-her shtick gets pretty annoying pretty fast. Yes, Kristoff deserved much better than what he got. Yes, the story is pretty messy. There’s plenty wrong with this movie and plenty of perfectly valid reasons to not like it. But with all that said…

I do like this movie.

The adventure is pretty fun and engaging, Christophe Beck’s score is solid, it looks spectacular, and it has that legendary scene where Olaf re-enacts the first movie. That scene alone is worth at least three points. Not only that, the rock trolls are actually helpful and not vague, and they don’t get a five minute scene that easily could’ve been shortened (more on that later). Elsa’s journey is a lot better and more compelling here. I like seeing her push herself and her powers against the spirits while trying to figure out how to save Arendelle. The songs are alright for the most part, but Lost In The Woods is obviously the greatest boyband song never written, and Show Yourself is really strong and contributes to the most powerful and best scene in the movie. And when this movie gets dark, it’s not afraid to get really dark. The scene where Anna and Elsa find their parents ship is honestly kinda f**ked up, (imagine your parents died in a plane crash and you were led to the crash site) the Ahtohallan sequence where Elsa learns that her grandfather was a violent and evil man before freezing to death all alone is brutal, (the one way we thought she couldn’t die is exactly what killed her) and then there’s the fact that she and Olaf don’t get hints that they’ll be revived. Yeah, we all kinda new they wouldn’t stay dead (though apparently Josh Gad strongly campaigned for Olaf to stay dead after recording his dialogue for his death scene) but the fact that the movie rolls with it and almost convinced me they weren’t gonna back out on such bold moves on my first viewing is admirable. Now yes, the third act is pretty lame and features one of the weakest climaxes of any Disney animated movie ever, which sucks because the first movie had a genuinely great climax, but the ending is still pretty nice. It’s a nice, wholesome ending to a nice, undeniably heavily flawed, but at the end of the day, good movie that’s at least more watchable than 90% of the atrocious direct-to-DVD sequels.

8. Meet the Robinsons 7/10

This one’s a little weird to talk about. It’s gained some cult status these past few years, but after rewatching it, while it’s definitely underrated, it’s not truly great either. It’s got some smart and funny ideas and moments, and obviously Bowler Hat Guy is a very entertaining villain, but man, the other Robinsons kinda suck. I like the mom and the Adam West pizza guy, but everyone else is just a boring, unfunny, weird and underdeveloped weirdo that could be cut from the movie with next to nothing changing. Would this movie really miss much if there were only like five Robinsons? So yeah, they make the second act a pretty tedious slog despite the amusing Bowler Hat Guy shenanigans, but everything else is really good. It’s got a great message, Lewis and Wilbur are entertaining protagonists, and the stuff with Lewis’s real mom and the resolution is handled so darn well. I didn’t cry, but it definitely gave me the feels. I wish this movie was genuinely great, it’s honestly really close in spite of being weighed down by some tedious and weird side characters, but the fact that it works as well as it does in spite of that is pretty remarkable.

7. Big Hero 6 7/10

Professor Calaghan sucks and is incomprehensible as a character, everyone knows that. But despite that, I actually really like Big Hero 6. I actually enjoy the side characters and remember their names, and it’s been awhile since I’ve seen this movie. And obviously Baymax is an iconic legend that elevates this movie quite a bit. Anytime he’s onscreen, he’s a blast. It’s also pretty funny, I like the Fallout Boy song, and there’s some good if not particularly memorable action. The scenes where Hiro is dealing with grief have grown stronger for me after personal events in the abysmal year that was 2020, so maybe I have some slight bias in addition to the fact that I was obsessed with this back when it first came out. This movie does a lot of things right, but I respect Schaff's less-than-impressed opinion on it and it definitely didn’t deserve Best Animated Feature in a year when one of the best Dreamworks movies came out, (cough HTTYD2) we can all agree on that.

6. Frozen 8/10

Accidental lightning in a bottle. That’s how I’d describe Frozen’s success. No one could have foreseen that this movie was gonna click with the world as well as it did and have one of the catchiest, most memorable Disney songs of all time. When it did, it was all anyone wanted to talk about and even now over eight years later, it’s clear that it’s here to stay. Now look, I can understand getting a little annoyed with the movie’s accidental popularity of titanic, near-inescapable proportions, but if you hate this movie just because of its popularity… That, my friend, is not a valid criticism. (Again, Frozen apologist)

Seriously, why don’t you apply that “If it’s popular, that means it’s terrible LOL” logic to The Lion King, Finding Nemo, Star Wars when it first came out back in 1977, or a ton of MCU movies, including the very best? By all accounts it doesn’t make sense, now does it?

Now if you don’t like it ‘cause you hate Hans or the trolls or think that Agnarr and Iduna kinda suck, (which they kinda do, as much as the second movie wants to make us think otherwise) that is valid.

Okay, now that all that drama I felt the need to address is out of the way, I remember that Frozen was the very first movie my family and I saw twice in theaters. It was just a pure sensation that we just had to experience theatrically again before owning it on blu-ray three months later. It was a mindblowing masterpiece to 11-year-old me. Now, as an adult, whenever I watch this movie, I really… really…

Still like it and think it’s great!

It’s not perfect, and I’ll gladly address three common problems that I too have with it: Evil Hans could’ve been executed better. I personally think that it would’ve been better if he kissed Anna, it didn’t work, and he came to the conclusion that killing Elsa is the only way. Anna could try to protest, saying that Elsa’s still her sister and all, but Hans just gets annoyed and slowly, gradually gives up on his facade as Prince Charming before revealing his cunning plan to become king (I’m seriously tempted to write a short fanfic that rewrites just that scene in this way). While he is decently intimidating and actually comes pretty close to winning in the end, he’s far from Disney’s best villain. The trolls themselves are tolerable since they have very limited screen time in the grand scheme of things, and I kinda like “Fixer Upper”, it’s just that when it plays in the context of the movie, it’s not good. There are more important matters, guys! Come on! I think that scene could’ve worked better if they were instead just happy that Kristoff finally had a human friend and didn’t jump to the conclusion that they were in love. Maybe they can drop a few vague hints that they know their feelings for each other are developing, (without singing about them) but then stop and get serious when Anna’s frozen heart gets worse and Grand Pabbie shows up. My last major issue is Elsa. NO, I do not think she is “terribly written”, Schaffrillas. As much as I agree with or at least understand his videos, (I still don’t think Shrek Forever After is that great despite the points he made in that video, but I’m glad he likes it as much as he does) that one just seemed a little mean and bitter. Look, man, she’s been through a lot and has been warned of terrible things that will happen if she can’t get control of her powers, which she has no idea how to do despite years worth of effort trying to figure it out. The problem is not that she’s a terrible character, I think the REAL problem is her lack of screen time. Seriously, nineteen and a half minutes pass between “Let It Go” and Anna arriving at her ice palace, and we don’t really see Elsa in that time. I think giving her more presence in the scenes she does get, or extending that scene where she’s alone in her palace and it turns red as her powers grow even stronger, would’ve strengthened her journey, but as is it still works. You can tell she cares about Anna and wants to be a better sister, but she’s afraid of herself and what her powers can do to her and others. Fear can be a powerful thing, and Elsa undeniably suffers from it until she learns to overcome it.

OKAY, now that all that is out of the way, let’s talk about everything I like: Just about everything else. I like the music, both the score and the songs, (which I think range from alright to absolute banger) the animation is beautiful, the adventure is fun and memorable, and it’s really funny. There are a ton of very quotable moments that lead to mostly solid jokes. I also like how detailed the animation is, there are always little touches I pick up on upon repeat viewings. I am never bored rewatching Frozen, I’m always fully engaged and on the lookout for the next small detail I missed before. Olaf is given just the right amount of presence (he doesn’t show up until the 45 minutes mark, about halfway through) and is genuinely funny, charming and enjoyable throughout, Kristoff is pretty fun and interesting, and Anna might be my favorite Disney princess. Another aspect this movie doesn’t get nearly enough credit for, even by the fanbase, is it’s honestly really good tension. It’s made clear at multiple points that the protagonists’ very lives are at risk and there aren’t any obvious hints that they’ll just get out of those tense situations uninjured. The first time I saw it, I was on the edge of my seat at multiple points, especially during the excellent, genuinely terrifying climax. The scene where Anna freezes and Elsa breaks down hugging her genuinely gives me the feels every time. And it all leads to a nice ending that makes me think fondly of the experience as a whole. TBH, I will never stop saying that this movie is overhated. Its flaws are valid and they hold it back from being a true masterpiece, but it’s strengths more than outweigh its weaknesses and I for one think it earned its status as a new modern classic. :)

But yes, I’ll gladly admit that the following five movies are even better.

5. Zootopia 8/10

I was not expecting to like Zootopia as much as I did. Then again, I wasn’t expecting to like any of the top six as much as I did. I thought Zootopia would just be “Ha ha wacky anthropomorphic animals leads to funny wacky animal hijinks”, but it’s more than that. While it’s definitely strong in the comedy department, it’s also got some great, engaging characters brought to life by excellent performances, a really fun investigation with some clever references, and it looks really pretty. The messages are well-intended but could’ve used some more subtlety in execution, and the twist villain is about as intimidating as an angry kitten, but it’s still a really strong movie with fun characters and I’m happy to revisit it every now and again.

4. Tangled 8/10

Yeah, not-so-hot take here, Tangled is great. This was actually the first Disney princess movie I distinctly remember liking and gladly admitting so when I was a kid, even when I still hated the other princess movies at the time. (I’m sure all of us boys went through that “hate Disney princess movies just ‘cause I’m a boy and those are for girls” phase) It was very popular amongst my 2nd grade class for a while, even among the other boys, and that’s how you know Disney made a super enjoyable adventure. I like Rapunzel, she’s a delightful and fun lead, and obviously Flynn Rider is great and probably a major contributing factor to why I liked this movie even as a kid. I enjoy the other characters enough, it looks impressive even 12 years later, and the soundtrack is really good, with one undeniably exceptional highlight. Yeah, you guessed it, the Oscar nominated “I See the Light”, which might be the best love song in Disney history. Rapunzel and Eugene are really cute together and their relationship makes this movie all the better. The pacing is a little slow at times, the adventure is fairly simple and the stakes are pretty low, but that’s perfectly fine because we’re still left with a charming, super fun, solid, always enjoyable movie at the end of the day. This might actually be my favorite rom-com, and it’s better than any of those generic, cheap, Netflix original teen rom-coms. Don’t debate me on that, you know it’s true.

3. Moana 9/10

Yeah, Moana is really great. The songs are all great, the adventure is really fun and engaging, Hei Hei is a welcome comic relief animal sidekick, Tamatoa is a pretty enjoyable villainous obstacle, and Moana and Maui are very entertaining, well developed leads. If I like the lead characters, there’s a good chance I’m gonna like the movie. I like all the action scenes, the musical numbers are wonderfully vibrant, and it’s a very fun, quotable time. I don’t care for some juvenile jokes and there are some cliche plot points that, while executed well enough, feel like overused cliches nonetheless. But it’s still a really great time and I’m always down to go on this journey again every so often.

2. Wreck-It Ralph 9/10

It had been quite a while since I’d seen Wreck-It Ralph before revisiting it earlier this month. And man, not only does it still hold up, I’d say it’s gotten a little better! I really like the opening, I think it’s a great setup, I like all four main characters, King Candy’s a fantastic villain, and it has some excellent animation. It’s also very funny and I forgot how much I’ve been subconsciously quoting it over the years! I like all the video game character cameos, it’s got a strong emotional core, I like Henry Jackman’s score, and the climax is fun, tense and emotional, and leads to a sensational, satisfying ending. I’ve got the same issues here as Moana, but they’re not bad enough to weigh down the experience by much, ‘cause this movie still slaps. To quote Schaffrillas: “Gotta give it up for the one and only Wreck-It Ralph film.”

1. Encanto 9.5/10

Some people fail to see Encanto for what it is, instead complaining that there’s no legitimate villain and that there isn’t much of a journey. So if you strip it of a big, intimidating, mustache-twirling villain and an epic thousand mile adventure, what exactly does this movie have?

Simple!

A cast of charming, distinct, memorable characters, a soundtrack loaded with bangers, some of the most vibrant musical numbers in any Disney movie ever, absolutely stunning animation, really compelling and engaging family drama, strong comedy, excellent themes, and a deceptively powerful emotional core.

Mirabel is an excellent lead. She’s very expressive and really fun to watch while also being so relatable and sympathetic to the point where I kinda wanna just reach through the screen and hug her. I also love the side characters. Like I said, they’re all distinct, likable, and get their fair share of fun moments. I feel like I’m gonna remember the amazing Madrigals a lot more than say the other Robinsons or the other Riveras in Coco. (Can you honestly tell me that much about those guys?) And, of course, Bruno is one of the Top 10 best characters Disney has ever created in any of their 60 animated movies. Don’t debate me on that, you know it's true. Even the folks who are a little harder to like like Isabela and Abuela learn their lessons and become better people. The animation is also incredibly well detailed, I’ve seen a ton of edits on youtube pointing out that this is an absolute goldmine of little details you pick up on upon repeat viewings. It might be even better than Frozen in that regard.

What I really like about the scene where Mirabel and Abuela reconcile aside from the fact that it’s really f**king powerful and might or might not have made me cry, is the fact that Mirabel doesn’t just say “it’s okay”. She doesn’t instantly forgive her for her misguided mindset and hurtful actions, but she still knows where she came from and the fact that Abuela admitted that she was the one at fault is what really makes it work.

I’m deeply shocked this movie turned out to be this great. I expected it to be good, but no man! It’s absolutely sensational! If I had any complaints, it would be that the second half of the third act admittedly does feel a little rushed, especially since the rest of the movie is well paced, and I wish we could’ve gotten even more of the other Madrigals… yeah, those are my only issues with this movie. Otherwise, it’s nearly perfect in my book. It’s got great characters, is overflowing with effortless charm and personality, and just begs to be revisited.

I’ve seen it three times already, and it’s just gotten better every time. I thought it was an 8.5/10 the first time. (I couldn’t decide between an 8 or a 9, so I went with the midpoint) Then on my second viewing, it got better, and I bumped my score up to a 9. Then, on my third viewing, it got even better than that, so I raised my score even more to a 9.5/10. I have every intention of making a fourth viewing and more in the future, ‘cause I just can’t get enough of this one. Encanto is an absolute banger and if people try to attack it if it wins Best Animated Feature at the next Oscars, I will gladly sacrifice generous amounts of sleep defending it!

Also, the directors have confirmed that they are open to the possibility of making a sequel or follow-up TV series with these characters, and I for one am totally down for that!

More of la familia Madrigal por favor, Disney!