Its pretty hard to get a job right now. Nobody wants to hire let alone talk to me . Like im a disease lurking the streets waiting to infect them. People always say theres plenty of opportunity, but i havent seen it. If i ask for anything its considerd begging, or im just trying to get drugs. At this point the drugs are the only thing keeping me alive. I write about my addiction and post on my substack and reddit. I make a few bucks from it sometimes. But its hard keeping battery on my phone to do all the things i need to do. Right now im at 41%. Typing this will take 10% most likely. Also the shame from all this with each new day takes desire from wanting to write about it. If i feel invisble walking the streets, i feel invisible everywhere.
I dont know its been raining alot and my fingernails are black and im broke. We are just trying to survive till the 1st. Thats when our insurance activates, so we can go to a program. Its been a cold, wet and humbling journey. We would love to make it to LA somehow for a thanksgiving get together. Maybe i can write more for that.
I guess why i started posting this was to be a little more aware of how you look and interact with the homeless. I dont feel good just being me, let alone feeling like you dont like me either. My clothes may be dirty and worn, and my body malnourished, but beleive it or not we are just like you. We just took a wrong turn somewhere and never found the road back.