You're about as useful as tits on a boar. Answer from faceless_comments on reddit.com
Reddit
reddit.com › r/askreddit › what are some clever sayings to call someone useless?
r/AskReddit on Reddit: What are some clever sayings to call someone useless?
April 4, 2013 -
Example: You are like a clock pendulum that does not swing.
GotLines
gotlines.com › insults › useless
You're as useless as... Insults
You're as useless as a chocolate teapot.
The Poke
thepoke.com › home › ‘as useless as …’ – 19 hilariously descriptive put-downs
'As useless as ...' - 19 hilariously descriptive put-downs - The Poke
November 21, 2022 - Over on Reddit’s r/AskUK forum, u/Ed_mutts_nuts asked – What’s a good ‘As useless as?’ They added – I love the English language and our creations. Someone came out with as useless as a woodpecker with rubber lips at a co-worker today. Cracked me up.
TikTok
tiktok.com › discover › useless-insults
Useless Insults | TikTok
September 15, 2025 - I can’t stand someone who doesn’t even try to help, they just give up as soon as they open their mouths. The best insult to use for useless people 98.6. I don’t mean people who are genuinely trying to help, or people who give the bare minimum. I’m talking about someone who just exists ...
Gotinsults
gotinsults.com › insults › useless
You're Useless - Got Insults?
You're as useless as a knitted condom. ... The material featured on this website is strictly for comedic purposes and should not be taken seriously.
Quora
quora.com › What-are-some-useful-idioms-or-phrases-with-useless
What are some useful idioms or phrases with 'useless'? - Quora
As useless as tits on a nun. ... It’s useless to look for excuses.
Reddit
reddit.com › r/askreddit › what is the best insult you have heard to describe how useless someone is?
r/AskReddit on Reddit: What is the best insult you have heard to describe how useless someone is?
April 28, 2022 - A few of my personal favourite. -As useful as a mesh tea cup. -so useless he would starve in a supermarket. -A knitted condom ... Useless as Tits on a nun. ... Love it I’m using that one. ... Useless as tits on a boar hog. ... I've heard of tits on a turtle, and I like that one better for the alliteration.
Thought Catalog
thoughtcatalog.com › random
180 Best Insults to Destroy Your Enemies | Thought Catalog
September 18, 2025 - You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?
Wiktionary
en.wiktionary.org › wiki › Thesaurus:worthless_person
Thesaurus:worthless person - Wiktionary, the free dictionary
Retrieved from "https://en.wiktionary.org/w/index.php?title=Thesaurus:worthless_person&oldid=89483475" · Definitions and other text are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License; additional terms may apply. By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy ...
Frances Coronel
francescoronel.com › blog › the-best-50-insults
The Best 50 Insults | Frances Coronel
November 7, 2025 - This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person. You’re as thick as a bull’s walt. You are the reason some animals eat their young. Some are savage. Some are silly. All of them remind me how creative insults used to be before Twitter came along.
Bored Panda
boredpanda.com › home › how to call someone stupid in a smart way: 30 clever jabs
How To Call Someone Stupid In A Smart Way: 30 Clever Jabs | Bored Panda
August 25, 2025 - My personal fav: I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you. ... If you try to use that on MSN the censors usually flag it as hate speech. ... Me too. Love me some Deadpool! ... i know an oldie but a goodie if you're looking for insults, appearance wise; "you're a thief and a murderer; you killed a monkey and stole his face"
Digital Spy
forums.digitalspy.com › archived forums › general discussion
Analogies for 'useless' — Digital Spy
December 4, 2011 - As useless as a eunuch's condom.
Reddit
reddit.com › r/words › what’s a rude way of calling somebody dumb or a loser?
r/words on Reddit: what’s a rude way of calling somebody dumb or a loser?
June 3, 2024 -
english isn’t my first language and google isn’t providing the answers im looking for. im trying to call somebody dumb and a loser but i want to sound mean. im looking for synonyms.
Quora
quora.com › How-do-you-metaphorically-express-the-uselessness-of-a-thing-or-a-person
How to metaphorically express the uselessness of a thing or a person - Quora
Call now for a free onsite evaluation! ... Mercedes R. Lackey · Author · Author has 30.8K answers and 147M answer views · 6y · I personally like the rather vulgar “He’s as useless as teats on a tom-cat.”
The Poke
thepoke.com › 2024 › 10 › 11 › what-is-the-most-inventive-british-way-to-call-someone-useless-23-wonderfully-creative-insults
'What is the most inventive British way to call someone 'useless'?' - 23 wonderfully creative insults - The Poke
October 11, 2024 - And they received a cornucopia of lovingly well-crafted and highly insulting replies. Here are our favourites. ‘Somewhere, a village is missing its idiot.’ –brokenbear76 · ‘As useful as a convertible submarine is a favourite of mine.’ –MandarinWalnut · ‘If brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose.’ –HoraceorDoris ... Andrew Tate shared a Mother’s Day not so humblebrag and it turned out to be the mother of all self-owns
Kingsenglishsociety
kingsenglishsociety.org › home › pot pourri › inventive insults
INVENTIVE INSULTS - King's English Society
November 5, 2025 - smell-feast - someone who has a gift for sniffing out a good dinner and pitching up uninvited; a freeloader · smellfungus - an inveterate complainer; one who delights in finding fault ... throttlebottom - an inocuously inept and ineffectual person who has somehow managed to achieve high office
Reddit
reddit.com › r/intj › do you also see the word "useless" as one of the worst insults possible?
r/intj on Reddit: Do you also see the word "useless" as one of the worst insults possible?
April 30, 2019 -
Honestly I don't care about being called stupid, arrogant, cowardly, emotionless, et cetera. But I can sometimes do a lot of weird stuff just not to be seen as useless. I also tend to despise people I find useless much more than anyone else.
Is it also the case for you?
Reddit
reddit.com › r/askreddit › what’s your favourite “as useless as ____”?
r/AskReddit on Reddit: What’s your favourite “as useless as ____”?
January 3, 2018 - That’s as useless as a sick day in summer! ... Box of rocks... idk why lol ... A woman? Which is something my theology teacher in high school (later principal) would say. He became a priest supposedly because he was left at the altar. Despite that statement everyone loved him in school and he was deeply mourned when he passed. ... Give me your best backhanded compliments and subtle insults!
Cracked
trivia.cracked.com › image-pictofact-13483-35-of-the-funniest-euphemisms-for-calling-someone-stupid
35 of the Funniest Euphemisms for Calling Someone Stupid | Cracked.com
November 12, 2024 - Thankfully, Redditors have shared their favorite euphemisms for calling someone stupid, and whether you go with the succinct “quick as a glacier,” the more colorful “as sharp as a sock full of soup” or the genius “if your brains were ...
Faithwebblog
faithwebblog.com › 2011 › 02 › useless.html
FaithWeb: Useless
The nations will see your vindication, ... will bestow. ... I can’t think of a worse insult than that. It’s way past contemptuous and downright dismissive; dismissive of a person’s worth as a human being, dismissive of his redeeming value. To insult someone’s intelligence, or ability, or even his character is one thing. That kind of insult at least berates a person for something done, or not done, or not done well. To call someone useless and mean it ...