So the nurse will ask me if I feel safe at home and yeah, I do. I am pretty confident that my mom is not going to come in and kill me. I don't think anyone's going to come and kill me and I don't have any indication that I am being targeted by a particular person who wants to end my life.

However I also don't feel completely safe. Especially with my mom. She's threatened conservatorship on me at one point and it really messed me up. I don't know if she will do that again. I feel always on edge and stuff. I contacted adult protective services and the guy was so incompetent. He basically just asked my mom if she was abusive and then she of course denied it and then she threatened me was conservatorship and so now I'm scared to call again.

There's also some like political reasons such as the fact that my mom is just a racist. Oh yeah, I'm transracial adopted meaning that my mom is white and I am not. She adopted because of White saviorism and also because she wanted a little Asian doll like she had when she was little. Gross.

Yeah I don't feel safe around people who objectify Asian people. I do not feel safe around people who think of Asian people as anything but people.

There needs to be a word that describes the feeling of being unsafe but also that you don't think your life is in danger.

Almost like there needs to be different levels of unsafeness.