Percy, however, held out his hand solemnly as though he and Harry had never met and said, ‘Harry. How nice to see you.’ ‘Hello, Percy,’ said Harry, trying not to laugh. ‘I hope you’re well?’ said Percy pompously, shaking hands. It was rather like being introduced to the mayor. ‘Very well, thanks –’ ‘Harry!’ said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. ‘Simply splendid to see you, old boy –’ ‘Marvellous,’ said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry’s hand in turn. ‘Absolutely spiffing.’ Percy scowled. ‘That’s enough, now,’ said Mrs Weasley. ‘Mum!’ said Fred, as though he’d only just spotted her, and seized her hand, too. ‘How really corking to see you –’ Answer from Deleted User on reddit.com
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Reddit
reddit.com › r/harrypotter › what is your favorite funny harry potter quote?
r/harrypotter on Reddit: What is your favorite funny Harry Potter quote?
April 6, 2023 -

Mine is “Fred, George, Harry, and Ron were the only ones who knew that the angel on top of the tree was actually a garden gnome that had bitten Fred on the ankle as he pulled up carrots for Christmas dinner. Stupefied, painted gold, stuffed into a miniature tutu and with small wings glued to its back, it glowered down at them all, the ugliest angel Harry had ever seen, with a large bald head like a potato and rather hairy feet.”

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Reddit
reddit.com › r/harrypotter › what’s your favorite “funny quote” from the series?
r/harrypotter on Reddit: What’s your favorite “funny quote” from the series?
March 31, 2018 -

Mine is probably when Ron and Harry are peeling sprouts in HBP and the Twins gently mock them for having to peel them without magic.

Ron throws his sprout knife at Fred (who just made a crack about Lavender Brown having brain damage to go out with Ron)...and Mrs. Weasley shows up and tells him, “Don’t ever let me see you throwing knives again!” Ron quickly promises, “I won’t...”

Ron waits until she’s out of earshot and finishes his thought: “...let you see.”

Ha! He’s such a snarky bastard. What are your favorite quotes from characters?

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Game Rant
gamerant.com › home › movies & tv › harry potter: 24 funniest quotes
Harry Potter: 24 Funniest Quotes
January 7, 2025 - Most people would argue that the ... do nothing to bring down the overall quality of the series' writing. There's a reason why some of the funniest Harry Potter quotes are still remembered to this day by many die-hard fans of the franchise....
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Reddit
reddit.com › r/harrypotterbooks › what are the most hilarious lines that make you crack up?
r/HarryPotterBooks on Reddit: What are the most hilarious lines that make you crack up?
November 3, 2023 -

Personally I have loads, but recently reading the Half-Blood Prince, some Dumbledore lines are hilarious, there are some where Harry gets back at Snape, and there is one that made me crack up, a scene with Hagrid:

"Hagrid! Open up, we want to talk to you!"

"If you don't open the door, we'll blast it open!" Harry said, pulling out hid wand.

"Harry!" said Hermione, sounding shocked. "You can't possibly —"

"Yeah, I can!" said Harry. "Stand back —"

But before he could say anything else, the door flew open again as Harry had known it would, and there stood Hagrid, glowering down at him and looking, despite the flowery apron, positively alarming.

"I'm a teacher!" he roared at Harry. "A teacher, Potter! How dare yeh threaten ter break down my door!"

"I'm sorry, sir," said Harry, emphasizing the last word as he stowed his wand inside his robes.

Hagrid looked stunned. "Since when have yeh called me 'sir'?"

"Since when have you called me 'Potter'?"

"Oh, very clever," growled Hagrid. "Very amusin'. That's me outsmarted, innit? All righ', come in then, yeh ungrateful little..."

From HBP, chapter 11

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Collider
collider.com › home › movie › the 22 funniest 'harry potter' movie quotes
22 Funniest 'Harry Potter' Movie Quotes
Hermione, jealous about Ron's fresh new relationship with Lavender, is telling Harry that he has a not-so-secret admirer: Romilda Vane, who's apparently planning to smother him with love potion only because "she thinks he's the Chosen One," to which a cheeky Harry replies that he is, indeed, the Chosen One. The quip was about as amusing as Hermione's snappy response. There are lots of Harry Potter funny quotes, but few are as funny as this one.
Published   November 7, 2024
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Reddit
reddit.com › r/harrypotter › favorite one-liners?
r/harrypotter on Reddit: Favorite One-Liners?
November 13, 2022 -

This has to be one of the best.

Hermione: “…He’s a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you…” Harry: “Wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life?”

Find elsewhere
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ScreenRant
screenrant.com › home › movies › movie lists › harry potter: 10 best quotes, according to reddit
Harry Potter: 10 Best Quotes, According To Reddit
March 10, 2022 - This line from the book was perfectly ... of the funniest quotes from Order of the Phoenix. The timing of Shacklebolt's line combined with his audience makes this quote a memorable one from both the books and movies. Reddit user LordJambrek also believes it was "delivered perfectly in the movies." Dumbledore and Voldemort duel in Harry Potter and the Order ...
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Seventeen
seventeen.com › life › 30 hilarious harry potter quotes that all wizards and muggles will love
30 Hilarious "Harry Potter" Quotes That All Wizards and Muggles Will Love
February 15, 2023 - We'll never forget the best Harry Potter quotes and emotional moments that live rent-free in our minds, from the Battle of Hogwarts and Harry Potter freeing Dobby, to Severus Snape professing his everlasting love for Lilly Potter. But let's not overlook the funniest Harry Potter quotes that made us giggle more than a fresh brew of laughing potion.
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Wikihow
wikihow.com › arts and entertainment › fandom › harry potter fandom › 30+ funny harry potter quotes that are riddikulusly good
30+ Funny Harry Potter Quotes That Are Riddikulusly Good
November 10, 2025 - That way, the Death Eaters won't be able to tell which one is the real Harry Potter. Fred and George Weasley also drink the potion, and when they've both transformed into Harry facsimiles, they say, "Wow—we're identical!" They're already identical twins, so this quote is them being sarcastic.
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Reddit
reddit.com › r/harrypottermemes › best harry potter quotes. which one do you think it is?
r/HarryPotterMemes on Reddit: Best Harry Potter quotes. Which one do you think it is?
February 23, 2024 - Neville saying “I’ll join you when hell freezes over. Dumbledore’s army!” Also it’s not a line but when Hermione whacks Harry after he says “but I am the chosen one” is just too funny
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Quora
quora.com › What-are-some-of-Harry-Potters-wittiest-and-most-savage-quotes
What are some of Harry Potter's wittiest and most savage quotes? - Quora
Answer (1 of 10): There’s no need to call me Sir Professor Say what you like about Severus Snape redeeming himself — he was a bully of a teacher. He made students feel awful about themselves, and the only reason Harry wasn’t one of his most affected victims is because Harry could take ...
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Totally The Bomb
totallythebomb.com › home › pop goes the culture › 'arry pottah › 19 hilarious harry potter quotes more magical than laughing potion
19 Hilarious Harry Potter Quotes More Magical Than Laughing Potion
March 18, 2019 - And as a dedicated Potter fan, chances are you’ve read many inspiring Harry Potter quotes, such as, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
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Always Snape
alwayssnape.com › forum › the always snape community: potterverse miscellanea › harry potter: funniest quotes
Harry Potter: Funniest Quotes – Always Snape – A Severus Snape Fansite
Found any hilarious quotes in the Harry Potter series? Add them to this thread, along with a comment on why you love it. Any quotes that are specific to Severus …