I feel this on such a deep level, I wish I had good advice for you but all I can say is you’re not alone. Most of the attention I’ve ever received is because of how I look, and honestly that makes me struggle with self esteem even more now that I’m getting older because I feel like it’s the only thing that ever made people want to talk to me. I’m lucky in that I’m married and my husband keeps me company but I just can’t seem to bond or make connections with other humans ever. Things are even awkward with my own parents and I wish I knew why. It’s a lonely place to be sometimes. If you ever need to talk or need a friend feel free to message me More on reddit.com

I am sure many people would try to console you here by telling you that marks don't decide your future and that maybe the exam system isn't suited for you. Maybe those words may be soothing for now, but do not let this enable you into falling into a false sense of self satisfaction. I understand what you are going through because I went through it myself. It feels wrong to have failed expectations of your parents and your own, when they made sure to provide for you as best as they can. What you need to do now is figure out what went wrong! Figure it out and improve. Also, I know younger generation always feels like their parents won't understand them. But what I find is that most of those people never truly talked to their parents and tried to be honest with them. Our parents are honest with us. Even if they aren't good parents and they hide it from the world, they don't and can't hide it from you. So be honest with your parents about your feelings. Tell them about how you feel like you failed them and let them talk to you. That would be 1000 times better than any comments of a random redditor who is commenting just because he found your post. Go talk to them. If their previous behavior is any indication, they will understand. They might be disappointed, which is obvious. Even when we give our best, we can't just expect people to not be disappointed when we fail. However, I am sure they will be the first to tell you that you don't need to keep yourself down like this. Go talk to them. Trust me. It will help the best. Also, you mentioned that you have a caring guy by your side. Talk to him too, when you are done havinh heart to heart with your parents. I am sure he will appreciate it and will also make you understand why you are worth it for him. Having heart to heart is tough in real life, I know. But it is for the best. Way better than letting it out and venting on reddit where most of the people just think of your as another stranger in peril on reddit. Give your best! がんばってください❗ More on reddit.com

I play a game or lisen to music I dont know how but that works alot More on reddit.com

How much money would you need to pay someone to do what you do every day? Caring for 2 kids all day, cooking, cleaning, etc. THAT is your income. Also, our worth is NOT our income. More on reddit.com