You're about as useful as tits on a boar. Answer from faceless_comments on reddit.com
Reddit
reddit.com › r/askreddit › what are some clever sayings to call someone useless?
r/AskReddit on Reddit: What are some clever sayings to call someone useless?
April 8, 2013 -
Example: You are like a clock pendulum that does not swing.
GotLines
gotlines.com › insults › useless
You're as useless as... Insults
You're as useless as a chocolate teapot.
Do you also see the word "useless" as one of the worst insults possible?
Incompetent is another good one. More on reddit.com
60
198
May 4, 2019Analogies for 'useless'
I think the first ones I remembered and liked were 'As much use as a chocolate watch [or fire-guard.]' But they are really old now and no longer funny. More on forums.digitalspy.com
what’s a rude way of calling somebody dumb or a loser?
I think calling someone dumb and a loser is probably mean enough. More on reddit.com
449
122
June 3, 2024What’s your favourite “as useless as ____”?
Anne Frank's drumset More on reddit.com
71
34
January 3, 2018Gotinsults
gotinsults.com › insults › useless
You're Useless - Got Insults?
You're as useless as ejection seats on a helicopter.
The Poke
thepoke.com › home › ‘as useless as …’ – 19 hilariously descriptive put-downs
'As useless as ...' - 19 hilariously descriptive put-downs - The Poke
November 21, 2022 - Over on Reddit’s r/AskUK forum, u/Ed_mutts_nuts asked – What’s a good ‘As useless as?’ They added – I love the English language and our creations. Someone came out with as useless as a woodpecker with rubber lips at a co-worker today. Cracked me up.
Wiktionary
en.wiktionary.org › wiki › Thesaurus:worthless_person
Thesaurus:worthless person - Wiktionary, the free dictionary
worthless person · [edit] [edit] [edit] [edit] absolute zero (slang) asswipe (North America, vulgar) badling (rare) blatherskite · bugger (Commonwealth, slang) carrion (figurative, obsolete) cipher · cockstain (vulgar, slang) crumb (slang) custron (obsolete) dandiprat (dated) doink (slang) ...
TikTok
tiktok.com › discover › useless-insults
Useless Insults | TikTok
September 15, 2025 - I can’t stand someone who doesn’t even try to help, they just give up as soon as they open their mouths. The best insult to use for useless people 98.6. I don’t mean people who are genuinely trying to help, or people who give the bare minimum. I’m talking about someone who just exists ...
Quora
quora.com › What-are-some-useful-idioms-or-phrases-with-useless
What are some useful idioms or phrases with 'useless'? - Quora
As useless as tits on a nun. ... It’s useless to look for excuses.
Reddit
reddit.com › r/intj › do you also see the word "useless" as one of the worst insults possible?
r/intj on Reddit: Do you also see the word "useless" as one of the worst insults possible?
May 4, 2019 -
Honestly I don't care about being called stupid, arrogant, cowardly, emotionless, et cetera. But I can sometimes do a lot of weird stuff just not to be seen as useless. I also tend to despise people I find useless much more than anyone else.
Is it also the case for you?
The Poke
thepoke.com › 2024 › 10 › 11 › what-is-the-most-inventive-british-way-to-call-someone-useless-23-wonderfully-creative-insults
'What is the most inventive British way to call someone 'useless'?' - 23 wonderfully creative insults - The Poke
October 11, 2024 - And they received a cornucopia of lovingly well-crafted and highly insulting replies. Here are our favourites. ‘Somewhere, a village is missing its idiot.’ –brokenbear76 · ‘As useful as a convertible submarine is a favourite of mine.’ –MandarinWalnut · ‘If brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose.’ –HoraceorDoris ... Andrew Tate shared a Mother’s Day not so humblebrag and it turned out to be the mother of all self-owns
Digital Spy
forums.digitalspy.com › archived forums › general discussion
Analogies for 'useless' — Digital Spy
December 4, 2011 - The other day someone described a friend of mine as "worse than a man shot" in terms of uselessness, which caused someone sitting nearby to ask, "what's a man-shot?"
Faithwebblog
faithwebblog.com › 2011 › 02 › useless.html
FaithWeb: Useless
To insult someone’s intelligence, or ability, or even his character is one thing. That kind of insult at least berates a person for something done, or not done, or not done well. To call someone useless and mean it is to say that he or she has no place in society, no function in the world.
Reddit
reddit.com › r/words › what’s a rude way of calling somebody dumb or a loser?
r/words on Reddit: what’s a rude way of calling somebody dumb or a loser?
June 3, 2024 -
english isn’t my first language and google isn’t providing the answers im looking for. im trying to call somebody dumb and a loser but i want to sound mean. im looking for synonyms.
Vidalingua
vidalingua.com › english-swear-words
English Swear Words Meanings and Explinations | F*ck
Asshole is an especially offensive swear word used to insult a person when they are annoying or detestable. Asswipe is a derogatory term or swear word used to refer to someone considered extremely annoying or useless.
Kingsenglishsociety
kingsenglishsociety.org › home › pot pourri › inventive insults
INVENTIVE INSULTS - King's English Society
November 5, 2025 - smell-feast - someone who has a gift for sniffing out a good dinner and pitching up uninvited; a freeloader · smellfungus - an inveterate complainer; one who delights in finding fault ... throttlebottom - an inocuously inept and ineffectual person who has somehow managed to achieve high office
Reddit
reddit.com › r/askreddit › what’s your favourite “as useless as ____”?
r/AskReddit on Reddit: What’s your favourite “as useless as ____”?
January 3, 2018 - That’s as useless as a sick day in summer! ... Box of rocks... idk why lol ... A woman? Which is something my theology teacher in high school (later principal) would say. He became a priest supposedly because he was left at the altar. Despite that statement everyone loved him in school and he was deeply mourned when he passed. ... A place for introverts.
Quora
quora.com › How-do-you-metaphorically-express-the-uselessness-of-a-thing-or-a-person
How to metaphorically express the uselessness of a thing or a person - Quora
I would say that someone or something is “useless as tits on a boar.” This means that the person or thing is completely useless and serves no purpose. ... Yes. I made up to $1,110 in only 15 days… from just watching YouTube videos in my ...
Bored Panda
boredpanda.com › home › how to call someone stupid in a smart way: 30 clever jabs
How To Call Someone Stupid In A Smart Way: 30 Clever Jabs | Bored Panda
August 25, 2025 - That‘s an insult to monkeys. ... Seems to me that's saying someone is ugly more than he's stupid. ... I like George Carlin's quote : Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ... My father used to call stupid people in a large group, “the idiot fringe”. ... Michael Capriola Jr. Michael Capriola Jr. ... They're not the fringe. They're the base. ... Sadly true. ... Also from GC: "think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that."
Macquarie
macquariedictionary.com.au › home › useful phrases for the useless
Useful phrases for the useless - Macquarie
September 4, 2025 - Australians have been diligent in coining ironic phrases to denote the completely useless, and a warning, some of these phrases get quite colourful! Firstly, there are those with a rural flavour. Such as useful as a bucket under a bull, a dead dingo’s donger, a dry thunderstorm, a sore arse to a boundary rider, a wether ...
Pinterest
pinterest.com › nebabooo › useless-comebacks
useless comebacks
Discover recipes, home ideas, style inspiration and other ideas to try.
Cracked
trivia.cracked.com › image-pictofact-13483-35-of-the-funniest-euphemisms-for-calling-someone-stupid
35 of the Funniest Euphemisms for Calling Someone Stupid | Cracked.com
November 12, 2024 - Thankfully, Redditors have shared their favorite euphemisms for calling someone stupid, and whether you go with the succinct “quick as a glacier,” the more colorful “as sharp as a sock full of soup” or the genius “if your brains were ...