Like the other commenters, I really feel you on this man. Seems like most of my life has been this constant fight against this feeling of inadequacy, this kind of inner tormentor that never stops arguing that I am unworthy of being loved and that my fear of being abandonned by everyone I care for wil inevitably always become reality, and a neverending stream of such grim thoughs and self-judgements that obviously stem from wounds of love suffered as a child by the abandonment and neglect of a parent in my case. A lot of what can happen (or what SHOULD and DOESN'T happen) to us as children can end up traumatizing us in complex and subtle ways and become a source of profound shame for us as adults, which can often elude our consciousness for a long time and remain hidden deep in our unconscious, while still affecting us in very profound ways. I stumbled upon this video yesterday before going to sleep and it has helped me connect so many dots and confirm a lot of suspicions I had but couldn't fully put my finger on: 60 Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Part 1/60 - Perfectionism - YouTube I highly recommend it. Don't let the length intimidate you, the last 15 minutes are another segment completely (addressed to christian audience specially, while the 1st 30min are for everybody, regardless of their beliefs), so it isn't necessary to watch it all for the points he's making to come across. I feel that this can be profoundly eye-opening for most people that struggle with this feeling of never being good enough, and the talk addresses a lot of concepts that are crucial to understanding where such life-disrupting & painful feelings originate from. If you recognize yourself in at least some of what he's describing, then you would definitely benefit from learning further about things such as ''Complex PTSD' aka C-PTSD or 'Complex Trauma'' (a lot of people, me included (at first), feel something weird as a reaction to this term, rejecting the idea that we may be in any way suffering from anything resembling PTSD about stuff from our childhood that most of us think of as really not being anything too terrible, especially compared to some of the abuse other people have went through. The way this is named is imo of profound disservice to the very real stuff this is describing - don't knock it off before reading about it a little!) These feelings of inadequacy that you're contending with are waaayyy more common than you would think, so many people are living with it that you would never guess from how successful and confident they appear. Learning more about how these tend to develop and how people learn to free themselves from their tyranny can help tremendously - especially in at the very least learning not to be ashamed of the shame we carry, rather than believing that it's a rare thing indicative of our profound defectiveness as a person. Hope that anything I've said or shared helps you in your quest for clarity, best of luck man! More on reddit.com

All anyone can offer others is support, kindness, patience, respect, your own unique perspective, trustworthiness, loyalty, friendship, and love. Looking at your post, I believe you have plenty of all these things to give, so from where I’m sitting, you’re more than good enough! If somehow they don’t appreciate that, it’s their loss, not yours! Have a great day OP! More on reddit.com

Hi OP, Very happy to hear that things are going so well for you. :) Although I wasn't as accomplished as you, I certainly felt the same way when I was younger. And I want to tell you that feeling negative emotions isn't always a bad thing. (Including feeling inadequate.) One thing I have learned is to interpret my emotions as signals. For example, anger tells me what I am passionate about, where my boundaries are, and what I believe needs to change about the world. And inadequacy tells me I need to clarify my goals or my approach to making progress. My advice to you would be to continue to question your inadequacy: In what specific contexts do you feel you are inadequate? In what way? Just because you are not a good employee, it doesn't make you a poor boyfriend. What do you think needs to happen before you will stop feeling inadequate? Do you have other ambitions or desires that you're neglecting or suppressing for whatever reason? Do you have any underlying expectations of yourself that you're making yourself feel inadequate for? If yes, are they realistic to your capabilities today? If you can get really clear for yourself what you want and how you can make progress, I suspect it will resolve your feelings of inadequacy. The important thing isn't that you fulfill your goals/expectations today, but that you make consistent progress toward them. Hope that helped. You are doing great. Best of luck! More on reddit.com

I overcame decades of learned helplessness, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression by taking a good, deep look at the beliefs I had about how the world works and my relationships within it. Some of my worries floated away like puffs of smoke, others took significant time to work out. What I learned was that all my troubles were products of problematic thought patterns. In short, my thought patterns produced certain beliefs and perceptions that contributed to my feeling of distress and even despair. The good news is, these are all learned behaviors which means they can be unlearned. I would encourage you to start by reading Epictetus' Discourses. You can find a copy online to read right now as well as look around for a translation or audio book version that works best for you. It's a series of lessons, told in dialog form, between a philosopher and his students. The students are coached to recognize their thought patterns, why they produce distress, and how to correct them. The examples are plentiful which means you get to see the same approach done in a lot of different scenarios. Eventually you learn to generalize this approach with regard to your own circumstances. It's not a chapter book where you need to keep up or lose the plot. It's great for people short on time or with attention span challenges as well, in my opinion. While you read this, I would encourage you to learn new habits to replace your old ones. This thread is a great introduction to the kinds of habits you can start looking for: Big Discussion: What are the pros and cons of different Stoic exercises? (And how to do them.) The book How To Think Like a Roman Emperor is a deeper look into this, as introduced against the backdrop of Marcus Aurelius' life (often referred to as the Philosopher King, and for good reason). More on reddit.com