With Beyond Compare you can use in the File Formats-Settings the XML Sort Conversion. With this option the XML children will be sorted before the diff.

A trial / portable version of Beyond Compare is available.

Good answer here:

Question: How can I diff two XML files? | Super User

Answer: How can I diff two XML files? | Super User

$ xmllint --format --exc-c14n one.xml > 1.xml
$ xmllint --format --exc-c14n two.xml > 2.xml
$ diff 1.xml 2.xml

Apologies for any failure to adhere to serverfault conventions ... I'm sure someone will let me know and I will amend appropriately.

My original answer is outdated. If I would have to build it again i would use xmlunit 2 and xmlunit-matchers. Please note that for xml unit a different order is always 'similar' not equals.

@Test
public void testXmlUnit() {
    String myControlXML = "<test><elem>a</elem><elem>b</elem></test>";
    String expected = "<test><elem>b</elem><elem>a</elem></test>";
    assertThat(myControlXML, isSimilarTo(expected)
            .withNodeMatcher(new DefaultNodeMatcher(ElementSelectors.byNameAndText)));
    //In case you wan't to ignore whitespaces add ignoreWhitespace().normalizeWhitespace()
    assertThat(myControlXML, isSimilarTo(expected)
        .ignoreWhitespace()
        .normalizeWhitespace()
        .withNodeMatcher(new DefaultNodeMatcher(ElementSelectors.byNameAndText)));
}  

If somebody still want't to use a pure java implementation here it is. This implementation extracts the content from xml and compares the list ignoring order.

public static Document loadXMLFromString(String xml) throws Exception {
    DocumentBuilderFactory factory = DocumentBuilderFactory.newInstance();
    DocumentBuilder builder = factory.newDocumentBuilder();
    InputSource is = new InputSource(new StringReader(xml));
    return builder.parse(is);
}

@Test
public void test() throws Exception {
    Document doc = loadXMLFromString("<test>\n" +
            "  <elem>b</elem>\n" +
            "  <elem>a</elem>\n" +
            "</test>");
    XPathFactory xPathfactory = XPathFactory.newInstance();
    XPath xpath = xPathfactory.newXPath();
    XPathExpression expr = xpath.compile("//test//elem");
    NodeList all = (NodeList) expr.evaluate(doc, XPathConstants.NODESET);
    List<String> values = new ArrayList<>();
    if (all != null && all.getLength() > 0) {
        for (int i = 0; i < all.getLength(); i++) {
            values.add(all.item(i).getTextContent());
        }
    }
    Set<String> expected = new HashSet<>(Arrays.asList("a", "b"));
    assertThat("List equality without order",
            values, containsInAnyOrder(expected.toArray()));
}

Jukka's answer did not work for me, but it did point to Canonical XML. Neither --c14n nor --c14n11 sorted the attributes, but i did find the --exc-c14n switch did sort the attributes. --exc-c14n is not listed in the man page, but described on the command line as "W3C exclusive canonical format".

$ xmllint --exc-c14n one.xml > 1.xml
$ xmllint --exc-c14n two.xml > 2.xml
$ diff 1.xml 2.xml

$ xmllint | grep c14
    --c14n : save in W3C canonical format v1.0 (with comments)
    --c14n11 : save in W3C canonical format v1.1 (with comments)
    --exc-c14n : save in W3C exclusive canonical format (with comments)

$ rpm -qf /usr/bin/xmllint
libxml2-2.7.6-14.el6.x86_64
libxml2-2.7.6-14.el6.i686

$ cat /etc/system-release
CentOS release 6.5 (Final)

Warning --exc-c14n strips out the xml header whereas the --c14n prepends the xml header if not there.

You might need to add something along the lines of

.withDifferenceEvaluator(((comparison, outcome) -> {
    if (outcome == ComparisonResult.DIFFERENT && 
        comparison.getType() == ComparisonType.CHILD_NODELIST_SEQUENCE) {
           return ComparisonResult.EQUAL;
    }
return outcome;
})).build();

to your Diff builder

for me the solution mentioned above will not work as compareNodeLists has this hardcoded in DOMDifferenceEngine.compareNodes()

new Comparison(ComparisonType.CHILD_NODELIST_SEQUENCE...

i have raised a new ticket for this though bear in mind it could just be my lack of understading :-)

https://github.com/xmlunit/xmlunit/issues/258